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May 26, 2006

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Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
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I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
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A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
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> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
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When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
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Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
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When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.
The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
I hope life isn't a big joke ... because I don't get it.
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
Gigerenzer's Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.
True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
The last group of clan many seasons seen throughout the pellicle is three men named ML, Coconut Sid and Luscious Dick Willie. These three disburse their day session on the bend criticizing one another and the creation around them.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.
The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock.
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don't think.
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.
I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position.
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
Barabási's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do — whether it is correct or not.
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
A camel is a horse designed by a committee
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes!
The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
The covers of this book are too far apart.
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.
Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.
A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.
I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible', she said, 'but that alone doesn't make it true.'
DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
I don't approve of political jokes... I've seen too many of them get elected.
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.
Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.
Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.
The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)
I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
When I am dead, I hope it may be said: 'His sins were scarlet but his books were read.
It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he'd lie just to keep his hand in.
Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.
We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.
Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
If it wasn't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.
Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.
If all the world's managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.
The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money.
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
Anyone who starts a sentence, 'With all due respect ...' is about to insult you.
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
After every 'victory' you have more enemies.
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
If it wasn't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...
There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it's good it's wonderful, and when it's bad it's still pretty good.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money.
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.
If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
I've never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I've seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.
I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air — however slight — lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.
Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.
If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.
Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
The truth is more important than the facts.
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, 'Why god? Why me?' and the thundering voice of God answered, 'There's just something about you that pisses me off.'
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.
Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
The covers of this book are too far apart.
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...
I hope life isn't a big joke ... because I don't get it.
Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
A camel is a horse designed by a committee
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.
Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.
After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.
Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.
Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research.
One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position.
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.
I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.
I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.
Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.
I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.
I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.
Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.
We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.
Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.
I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI !
Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
Wow! Great to find a post knocking my socks off!
Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
When I am dead, I hope it may be said: 'His sins were scarlet but his books were read.
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
Men have become the tools of their tools.
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
Great article but it didn't have everything-I didn't find the kitchen sink!
I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.
Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, 'cause if they couldn't, they'd have to wake up to the fact that life's one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can't seem to keep up is they're a bunch of misfits and losers.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
Minsky's Second Law: Don't just do something. Stand there.
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
If it wasn't for lawyers, we wouldn't need them.
I love these articles. How many words can a wordsmith smith?
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
Sterling's Corollary to Clarke's Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.
Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
How could any of this be better stated? It couldn't.
Smith & Wesson — the original point and click interface.
If I were a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, now I'd say "Kowabunga, dude!"
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock.
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Woah nelly, how about them apples!
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I appreciate you taking to time to contribute That's very helpful.
Free info like this is an apple from the tree of knowledge. Sinful?
A little rationality lifts the quality of the debate here. Thanks for contributing!
Hey hey hey, take a gander at what' you've done
Hey hey hey, take a gander at what' you've done
That's cleared my thoughts. Thanks for contributing.
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Schöne Sache! Jetzt bräuchte ich nurnoch einen Mac. :>
@alpi!

Achso! JETZT begreift es der alte Mann endlich;). Aber DAS ist ja echt interessant und bestimmt auch sehr nüttzlich. Danke an Dich für den netten Hinweis!

Gruß!
Derweltgroessteshufan
es geht darum zwischen mehreren virtuellen Desktops zu wechseln.. Beispiel im Video: 1.Desktop zum Programmieren, 2.Desktop zum Testen
Hi und hallo!

Also ich finde dieses Feature sehr interessant, verstehe aber nicht den Sinn oder Nutzen davon. Welchen Sinn hat es, wenn ich beim Tippen gegen die Seite des Macs schlage? Warum muß ich den Schlitten erst durch Gegenklopfen vor oder zurück bewegen?

Ich finde allerdings schon, das das alles optisch sehr geil aussieht!

Gruß!
Derweltgroessteshufan aus Duisburg

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